Recently I immersed myself in a warm-hearted reality show on Netflix called “Snowflake Mountain”, where a group of “clueless snowflakes” (individuals too delicate to handle criticism and who consider themselves to be special and unique) were put through their paces at a wilderness survival retreat and encouraged to stand on their own two feet. The series culminated with a trek up a mountain that symbolised that each of them could overcome all challenges and live their lives to their potential.
When things got too much and behaviour choices affected the greater good, the offending kidults were sent to rough it overnight in the outdoors at “Last Chance Lake” where they had to reflect upon whether or not to move forward with the self-development program or to give up and leave.
“If there is anything that the pandemic of 2020 taught us it was that no matter how much we plan, there are many things in life that are completely out of our control”.
Whether we are overindulged and entitled young adults in a reality show or just participants in life in general, we all face times when things don’t go our way and if there is anything that the pandemic of 2020 taught us it was that no matter how much we plan, there are many things in life that are completely out of our control. No matter what steps we put in place to reach a particular destination hurdles can appear when we least expect them and our only option is to find our spot at our own “Last Chance Lake” and consider how to alter our path or even change direction completely.
Like the adults all around them, young men and women travelling through their final years of high school are confronted by bridges to cross at every turn. Whether it be in the college admissions stakes, final exam results, place on a team, position in a group or even just starting a relationship with a new flame, success, as we all know, will feel good (actually it will feel great), but failure, if not emotionally prepared, can be a hard pill to swallow.
We sometimes need to remind ourselves that a college admissions rejection, a poor result in an exam, coming second in a leadership race or being rejected by someone you found attractive does not mean it is the end of the road. It is also not a sign that we are hopeless and that everything that we have achieved up to this point has been a waste of time. A rejection, denial, or failure is not a sign that we will never meet with success in life and certainly does not mean that we should give up on life because we think that our future is bleak.
But rejection hurts and whether it is a college admission decision, sports competition, exam, job opportunity, or even girlfriend or boyfriend, when we get rejected we feel bad and it takes a little time and space to get our emotions in check and this is when the 24 Hour Rule comes into play. We may need to give ourselves the opportunity to be depressed, angry, hurt or upset, however, we need to limit this emotional defusing to one day and one night… 24 hours in total!… The 24 Hour Rule!
“We may need to give ourselves the opportunity to be depressed, angry, hurt or upset, however, we need to limit this emotional defusing to one day and one night… 24 hours in total!… The 24 Hour Rule!”
No matter how old you are, if things don’t go your way then it is okay to cry, feel miserable, lock yourself in your room, eat chocolate, not talk to anyone, mope around the house, slam a door or two, stop eating, kick the cat (softly) and generally be unpleasant to be around but only for 24 HOURS and definitely no more and after a silent or even not-so-silent tantrum, you need to move on from your spot on “Last Chance Lake” and get on with much more important things than feeling lousy and the first thing on the agenda will be figuring out Plan B!
We often fall into the trap of thinking that the destination we have in mind is the only destination that will ensure that we meet with success. Life has taught me that this can often turn out to be the furthest from the truth. Once we let go of the emotions that are attached to failure, disappointment, anger and blows to our egos we can gain perspective, reflect, and consider our options for moving forward.
Life is full of surprise opportunities and the pathways to success often appear when we least expect them. By heading to our second, third or even final choice of destinations after a multitude of rejections we may find that it is on this new “mountain” that we discover a cure for cancer, meet our life partner, or get the idea for that successful start-up that will take the world by storm.
There is not one perfect road to happiness in life and for this reason, the 24 Hour Rule is important as feeling miserable about failures and missed opportunities for longer than a day is truly a waste of time. Remember, our failures, denials, rejections and disappointments do not define us or our future so we need to get on with doing what makes each of us awesome.
Life has a funny way of not going according to plans but as the old adage suggests, “when one door shuts, another opens”. Remember, all things will make sense eventually!
Barry@dremac.co